The Joys of Parenthood
by grumpystumpy
Summary: F!Shepard gets a little stressed at the pending arrival of her daughter.


The baby was squirming in Shepard's arms, she could barely keep a grip on her. The stink of soiled diaper was growing stronger by the second. The child laughed at her, clinging to the collar of Shepard's uniform with chubby blue fingers.

"Come on Commander, we're counting on you! Change it!"

She finally managed to get the infant on the changing table. "I've got this, Admiral!"

Shepard quickly removed the diaper and disposed of it. There was something missing though. The baby wipes! Where had she put the wipes?

" Now, Shepard!"

"I'm trying!"

#

"Shepard?"

"….just-just one more try, Admiral…I've got this…"

The mattress shifted under Shepard and Liara's voice reached through her sleepy haze. "If you think I'm Admiral Hackett we have a serious problem."

She rolled over. "Everything okay? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Liara pressed a cool palm against Shepard's forehead. "I'm fine. I was hoping for a glass of water."

"Sure thing," Shepard said. Pushing back the blankets, she swung her legs off the side of the bed and stumbled to the kitchen; stubbing her toe in the process. She bit back a string of curses as she turned on the faucet and began to fill a glass. There was still so much to be done. They had a doctor's appointment in a couple of days; she still had to assemble the special chair Liara had wanted for nursing; had they even sent out thank you notes from the shower? Yes, yes they had done that at least. Water spilled over Shepard's fingers bringing her back to the task at hand. She returned to the bedroom and Liara took the glass from her.

"Thank you. I think she's determined to keep me awake tonight," she said, patting her swollen belly.

"Is she now?"

"She's kicking up a storm. I think she's getting impatient."

Shepard leaned forward and placed her hand beside Liara's. "Yeah, she is. She should stop being stubborn and come say hello already."

Liara smirked. "She gets the stubborn streak from you."

"Keep telling yourself that, Shadow Broker," Shepard said, kissing Liara on the top of her head. "I think we're forgetting something. Something important."

"You worry too much. Stop hovering and get back in bed, it's chilly."

Shepard did as she was told, crawling back under the covers and curling up beside Liara. Her thoughts were filled blue children clinging to her legs, her back, everywhere, until she passed out.

#

Three, two, one. She set the doll down on the changing table and began to undo the diaper. Come on, Shepard, she thought. You can change an assault rifle while under fire from the enemy quicker than this! The diaper was off! She kicked open the trash and dropped it in, moving to pick up the wipes next.

"Shepard? What are you doing in there?"

"Just checking on a couple of things!" Damn it! Seconds had been wasted! But, she had to learn to work with distractions. She wiped the doll clean and pulled a fresh diaper over. Done! She looked down to check the stop watch. Five seconds off her best time. Not good enough.

Sighing, she patted her test subject on the head. At least the baby's room was ready. Well, almost ready. They'd decided on more neutral tones in terms of paint for the time being. Numerous stuffed animals that had arrived from well wishers which had ended up piled in a corner. Garrus had sent a large, and oddly fluffy, elcor; while the newly minted Lieutenant Westmoreland sent a Blasto plushie; which now balanced precariously on the back of the elcor. The corners of the dresser were covered in a synthetic material that was advertised as being the safest for protection as well as non-toxic for children. The crib had been certified by various consumer groups as the safest, as well as made of the highest quality materials, in the Sol system. There was something she was forgetting though.

Shepard stuck her head through the doorway. "Liara?"

The asari, seated on the couch, looked up from her datapad. "Yes?"

"Where did we put the monitor?"

"You set it up yesterday."

"Oh." Shepard ran her fingers over the sensor pad she barely remembered sticking into the wall.

"What about the-that dangly thing? The one that plays music?"

"It's in the closet."

She ran her hands through her hair and started to pace. There was something else. But, what? What was she forgetting? "What about the clothes your father sent?"

"Also, in the closet."

"What about…"

"Stop."

"Stop? Stop what?"

"Come here. Now."

Shepard walked across the room and stood before the asari, who took her by the hand. "Breathe."

"I just want to make sure we're ready."

Liara smiled and squeezed her fingers. "We will be."

"What if we forget something?"

"I assure you that the onesies are quite safe in the closet."

"I mean something important."

"We'll deal with it when we remember then. Why don't you turn on a vid? I could use a break from work."

"I think you're just luring me in under false pretenses so you can get a foot rub."

Liara pulled her closer to the couch. "You know me too well."

Shepard grinned, sitting on the couch and taking a blue foot into her hands. What the hell was she forgetting?

#

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going, ma'am?" the asari police officer asked.

"I don't care how fast I was going! My bondmate is about to give birth!"

"Shepard! Enough!" Liara said, nurses had helped her out of the car.

She glared at the violet asari traffic cop, who looked nonchalant as she tapped away at her omni-tool. What was wrong with people? She hadn't been about to let her child be born in a traffic jam because people were too stupid, or simply unwilling, to merge! It wasn't as if she'd done anything wrong with deviating ever so slightly from the traffic pattern, it was an actual emergency!

"Shepard!" Liara yelled, she was inside the hospital now.

She bit her lip, hard, and stomped her foot. The officer looked up for a moment, shook her head, and went back to entering data. What the hell was taking so long? She had been able to hack computers under fire and this idiot couldn't hand out a ticket?

"I'm citing you with a safety belt violation," the asari said. "Six thousand credits, which is MUCH less than you deserve right now."

Shepard pulled up her own omni-tool and paid the fine with a few flicks of her fingers. "Thank you, officer!" she said, hopping in the car and pulling it away from the entrance. It took forever to find a space to park and she was breathless by the time she'd sprinted inside. She caught sight of Liara being guided down a hallway in a wheelchair and hurried to catch up.

"I can't believe you did that!" Liara said.

"I'm sorry! I panicked!"

"You can lead the invasion of Earth without batting an eyelash, but you can't handle a traffic jam?"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Goddess, if this were any other day I'd…ugh!"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm having contractions, of course I'm not okay!"

"Just breathe!"

Liara's head whipped around, her biotics flaring. "YOU do NOT get to tell me when to breathe!"

They arrived at the room and Shepard felt a hand on her shoulder. "You should go grab some coffee or something," said the nurse.

"No, I'm going to be here."

The nurse smiled. "It's going to take a few minutes to get everything set up and we need you both to calm down. I promise you won't miss a thing."

Shepard looked through the door where a scowling Liara was being helped onto the bed. "Fine."

#

It had been at least an hour since she'd last seen Liara and Shepard had been pacing furiously in the waiting room the whole time. She'd returned from her coffee run to find Liara gone with a nurse hastily explaining that the baby was in distress, but not to worry; they were running tests and prepared to do an emergency c-section if needed. Shepard had almost put the salarian through a wall with that comment. Her bondmate, her child, were in danger and she wasn't supposed to worry? She was supposed to just stand here and do nothing? Shepard been so selfish, she should have taken better care of Liara instead of fussing over diaper changing exercises. She shouldn't have driven to the hospital in such an erratic fashion! What if this was all her fault! Their last words had been said in anger, she shouldn't have fought with Liara, she should have stayed calm and just told her how much she loved her.

"Commander Shepard?"

She spun around, causing the doctor, judging by the uniform, to take a step back. The asari looked tired and Shepard's heart began to pound. Something else had happened; maybe things were worse than they'd anticipated; maybe there was more extensive surgery needed.

The doctor's face broke into smile. "Congratulations! You have a daughter!"

Shepard's knees wobbled and she had to lean against the wall for support. Tears filled her eyes as she was overwhelmed with feelings of relief and happiness. They were okay! And she was a father! The doctor reached out and steadied her. "Liara's a little tired, we ended up having to do the emergency c-section. She's sore, but she'll heal up quickly I think. They're waiting for you back in the room. Do you need a hand getting there?"

"No, I think I've got it, thanks."

Shepard made a beeline for the hallway, her hands, her entire body was shaking. She sidestepped a few nurses, who were all smiles, and entered the room. Liara was there, looking flushed with dark circles under her eyes, but she nonetheless beamed at the tiny bundle cradled in her arms.

Shepard felt her mouth go dry. "Hey."

Liara looked up at her, the smile on her face getting even bigger. "Come here, there's someone who wants to meet you."

She eased herself onto bed next to Liara. Their daughter was the most beautiful thing Shepard had ever seen. Her eyes were closed and there was a flush to the pudgy blue cheeks and miniature head tentacles, which Shepard had decided were those most adorable thing in the galaxy. She knew then there wasn't a thing in the galaxy she wouldn't do, even if it involved fighting another war, to keep her child safe and happy.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Shepard nodded and Liara gentle transferred the baby over. The little asari was heavier than she expected and radiating heat. The baby whimpered and shifted in her blankets ever so slightly, which caused Shepard's heart to melt. "Wow."

Liara chuckled and rested her head on Shepard's shoulder. "Such profound words, Commander."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Shepard kissed her daughter on the head, feeling that happiest she'd ever been in her whole life, and in that moment, remembered the one thing they'd forgotten.

"Um. Liara?"

"Hmm?"

"We never decided on a name."

###


End file.
